You know you`re ugly when you`re the one asked to take the photo.
-unknown
funny facebook status
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart. :D
-unknown
Yes officer, I saw the "speed limit" sign, I just didn`t see you.
-unknown
I want to take a yoga class, but I can`t trust my farts.
-unknown
Someone told me I was immature....well guess who`s not allowed in my tree house anymore?
-unknown
To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant...what the hell would make you think that?
-unknown
Scams are everywhere on the INTERNET. Send me two payments of $19.95 and I will show you how to avoid them!
-unknown
Sometimes I drink a glass of water just to surprise my liver.
-unknown
That moment when you have so many things to do so you decide to take a nap instead.
-unknown
Imagine if you called the wrong number and the person who answered was a celeberty. "Hello" "Mom?" "No. This is Morgan Freeman"
-unknown