#MyBoyfriendNotAllowedTo spray axe in public, I`ve seen the commercials, those hoes come out of nowhere.
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funny facebook status
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
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What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
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What do you call a sick eagle? Illegal.
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I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again.
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My neighbor obviously doesn`t watch porn. She asked me to come fix her sink, I been here for an hour and i`m still fixing the damn sink.
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primary source of income: when my mom gives me money to buy something and doesn’t ask for the change back
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*listens to “big girls dont cry” while crying* *cries even more because now I’ve also disappointed Fergie*
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"hey since you’re up can u-" *sits down*
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