"What time is it?" "There is a clock right there" "Bitch, Did I ask you were the clock was?"
-unknown
funny facebook status
*Dog staring at wall* What I`m thinking: THERE`S A FUCKING GHOST! What my dog is thinking: That`s a sexy wall...
-unknown
My mother always told me if you can`t say anything nice, don`t say anything at all... And some people wonder why I`m so quiet around them.
-unknown
I saw a man at the beach yelling, “HELP, SHARK, HELP!” I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
-Emma
When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says "aww you were soo cute! what happened?" Bitch, I got sexy, thats what happened.
-unknown
When your parents call you by your full name, you know shit`s gonna happen.
-unknown
I don`t run. In fact, if you see me running, you better follow because it`s likely something is chasing me.
-unknown
That moment when you hear someone call your bestfriend their bestfriend and you`re like... "Ummmmm, no bitch."
-unknown
THEY`RE going THERE with THEIR friends. Seriously it`s not rocket science.
-unknown
Dear Blockbuster Video, LOL. Love, Netflix.
-unknown