Just for the record, cats dont actually like it when you raise them in the air and sing the Lion King song...
-unknown
funny facebook status
When you start to hate someone, everything they do begins to annoy you... Them: *Cough* You: "OOOOHHH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDD ".
-unknown
Think of a number between 0 and 20 Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It`s dark isn`t it :)
-unknown
"I know what I`m doing" - What people say before they screw something up.
-unknown
Dad can I have $50? "$40!?! What do you need $30 for?! $20 is more than enough! Heres $10 now give your brother half."
-unknown
*Me when I turn 18* Parents: Do this. Me: Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.
-unknown
Why why do baby clothes have pockets?
-unknown
Why can`t Spongebob lift a couple of teddy bears, But he can lift Patrick`s rock?
-unknown
GLOW IN THE DARK TOILET PAPER: Because shit happens, even in the dark.
-unknown
Me: I`ll do it at 7PM..... Time: 7:02PM..... Me: Oops too late gotta wait till 8 now.
-unknown