Gonna replace all the family photos in the house with pics of dustin Hoffman 2 see how long it takes my mum 2 notice
-unknown
funny facebook status
That fail moment when you realize you still count with your fingers.
-unknown
How am I going to spend Valentine`s Day? Naked, one the floor with a bottle of Captain Morgan in my hand, screaming Adele songs to my cat!
-unknown
The only yoga stretch I’ve perfected is the yawn.
-unknown
I`m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
-unknown
Parents: Your room is a mess. Me: You should see my life.
-unknown
Volleyball is just a really intense version of "don`t let the balloon touch the floor."
-unknown
All my life I`ve wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
-unknown
Sure you can touch my phone. I have nothing to hide ... except your dead body if you do.
-Dorian
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
-unknown