My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a damn nap.
-unknown
funny facebook status
End discrimination. Hate everyone equally.
-unknown
Sorry, I can`t today. My sister`s friend`s mother`s grandfather`s brother`s grandson`s uncle`s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
-unknown
When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everybody wants to date them.
-unknown
Forgetting to bring your phone to the toilet is like forgetting to bring a gun to war.
-unknown
Volleyball is just a more intense version of "don`t let the balloon touch the floor."
-unknown
That scary moment when a little kids say "I`m going to tell on you!" -__-
-unknown
You`re so full of sh!t, Toilets are jealous.
-unknown
That "oh shit!" moment when you lean back a little to far in your chair and then gravity takes over!
-unknown
My mom always says, If you don`t have anything nice to say, don`t say anything at all..now you know why I don`t talk to you!
-unknown