Alcohol is never the answer... But it does make you forget the question.
-unknown
funny facebook status
"Police, open up!" "No, you`re gonna yell at me"
-unknown
I`m not drunk... Floors need hugs too.
-unknown
That awesome moment when you got a question wrong on a test but your teacher accidentally marked it correct.
-unknown
I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
-unknown
Admit it, at one point in time you were attracted to a cartoon character.
-unknown
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money I`d just laugh and search with them.
-unknown
Dear weather man....Don`t try and educate me on mother nature... Bro, just tell me pants or shorts tomorrow...
-unknown
Why is there a show called "When animals attack?" It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
-unknown
You know you`re lazy when you get excited about canceled plans.
-unknown