To my future kids: You`ll start off with a flip phone. Idgaf if the iPhone 13 is out by then, you`re gonna know the struggle.
-unknown
funny facebook status
Is your name wifi? Cuz I`m feeling a connection..
-unknown
Why is peter pan always flying?He neverlands.I love this joke because it never grows old.
-unknown
Dwayne Johnson, paper
-unknown
Today my friend David lost his ID. Now we just call him Dav.
-unknown
While in the shower:
2% Washing.
8% Singing.
90% Winning fake arguments.
2% Washing.
8% Singing.
90% Winning fake arguments.
-unknown
If you were a transformer, you`d be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.
-unknown
When I draw birds, I draw flying mustaches...
-unknown
The main difference between me and a calender is that a calender actually has dates.
-unknown
When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, "Who did this to you?"
-unknown