*When my name`s on a Math problem* Whole class: *Stares at me* Me: That`s right bitches. I bought 300 watermelons.
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funny facebook status
You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.
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When you open the front facing camera by accident and you look like a deformed animal with a triple chin.
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sorry guys I can`t answer all 0 text messages at once.
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A flickering street lamp on an empty street is the Universe`s way of telling you to run.
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Mom: Come down it`s dinner time
Me: In a few minutes
Mom:NOW!!
Me: Ok *downstairs*
Me: Where`s dinner?
Mom: It will be ready in 10 minutes!
Me: In a few minutes
Mom:NOW!!
Me: Ok *downstairs*
Me: Where`s dinner?
Mom: It will be ready in 10 minutes!
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Imagine Alicia keys complaining in a super market... "THIS MILK IS EXPIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRREEEEEEDD"
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That one person you see EVERYWHERE... but don`t know their name.
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Drunk people are the only honest ones left.
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I don’t care what your gender is, I’m calling you dude.
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