Y`all want Jay Z and Beyonce`s relationship, I want they BANK account!
-unknown
funny facebook status
Remember, if we get caught, you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
-unknown
I wonder if women in China complain that all guys are the same.
-unknown
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
-unknown
Bad luck status: Gets dumped by Taylor Swift, Doesn`t get a break-up song.
-unknown
Bad luck status: Wears Nike Shoes. Can`t do it.
-unknown
Bad luck status: Meets a small town girl living in a lonely world. Doesn`t take the midnight train.
-unknown
My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
-unknown
My love life will never be satisfactory until someone runs through an airport to stop me from getting on a flight.
-unknown
When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, "Who did this to you?"
-unknown