They say "don`t drink and drive". Well.... yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I`m a badass.
-unknown
funny facebook status
So many things I wanna say. But there`s too many things still in the way.
-unknown
here’s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
-unknown
What do you mean I don’t have a social life I just went grocery shopping with my mom!
-unknown
I`m not saying I`m batman but answer me this, have you ever seen me and batman in the same room?
-unknown
How many Mexícans does it take to build a....... oh shit, they`re done.
-unknown
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me five times, good job, you’re the guy who makes the trailers for the Paranormal Activity movies.
-unknown
Everyone is self-confident until they see themselves through an iPhone`s front camera, instant depression.
-unknown
Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw then shit gets real.
-unknown
Well.. enough about me, let`s talk about you. What`s your favorite thing about me?
-unknown