Kim and Kanye named their child North West... that kid`s life is already going south.
-unknown
funny facebook status
"Backpfeifengesicht" is a German word to describe `a face in need of a slap`.
-unknown
Dolphins, yeah! They think they`re so cute. Oh, look at me, I`m a flippy little dolphin, let me flip for you. Ain`t I something?-Chum (Nemo)
-unknown
What if I just started licking the dentists fingers while they were in my mouth.
-unknown
when I wake up from a nap no one can talk to for at least 45 minutes because I`m 350% more ugly and 900% mad
-unknown
When I die, I want to be buried with sunglasses on and my hands behind my head. So when I deteriorate, I’ll be the chillest skeleton ever.
-unknown
I'm trying to think of a miley Cyrus joke but its just not twerking
-Pace
I love tweeting while crossing the stre
-unknown
[salsa dances away from your shitty opinion]
-unknown
Cop: "Sir, what`s in the bottle next to you?
Me: "Water."
Cop: "Sir, this is wine."
Me: "What? That Jesus! He did it again!"
Me: "Water."
Cop: "Sir, this is wine."
Me: "What? That Jesus! He did it again!"
-unknown