funny facebook status

shoutout to the friends that still like me

all two of you
-unknown
Being a person is becoming way too complicated... Time to be a unicorn.
-unknown
Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teen girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
-unknown
Mom: Clean your room, family is coming over. Oh I`m sorry, I didn`t realize the gathering would be held in my bedroom.
-unknown
Wow at a wedding reception the DJ yelled: "Would all married men please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living"
The poor bartender was almost crushed to death.
-unknown
I`m so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.
-unknown
As your best friend, its my job to embarrass you.
-unknown
2010: im ugly
2011: im ugly
2012: im ugly
2013: im ugly
2014: i will be ugly
-unknown
When my hair looks good: 3%: at school 7%: at home 90%: when I`m about to shower..
-unknown
Girlfriend: "Happy fathers day!"
Boyfriend: "But I`m not a dad."
Girlfriend: ":)"
-unknown

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