I don`t friend zone people, I relationship zone them... you wanna be friends? too bad. we`re dating.
-unknown
funny facebook status
*Feels attractive*
-unknown
"It`s not you, it`s me!" - Two twins fighting for a picture.
-unknown
Girl to girl: "Awhh, you`re really pretty!" "Thank you so much, you are too!"
Guy to guy: "You`re handsome" "Wtf? Dude are you gay?"
Guy to guy: "You`re handsome" "Wtf? Dude are you gay?"
-unknown
person: I like your name
me: thanks, I got it for my birthday
me: thanks, I got it for my birthday
-unknown
accidentally punched myself in the face trying to pull my blanket up, if that doesn’t accurately describe my life i don’t know what does
-unknown
When I clean my room: 1% Cleaning. 29% Complaining. 70% Playing with stuff I just found
-unknown
Bored? Simply place a deck of playing cards on someones ceiling fan. Sit back and enjoy.
-unknown
Question: What do you call a fish with 3 eyes? ... Answer: a fiiish.
-unknown
Me: Siri tell me a joke.
Siri: *turns on front facing camera*
Siri: *turns on front facing camera*
-unknown