Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.
-unknown
funny facebook status
2014 is the year I go from fugly to ugly :)
-Kurtis
Doesn`t Dora`s mom ever wonder where her 6 year old is and why her only friends are animals?
-unknown
When The Hulk goes off into a vicious rage and destroys everything, he`s "Incredible." But when I do it, I`m, "an alcoholic."
-unknown
Me: Okay it`s 7AM. Me: I should get up. Me: Just five seconds. Me: Five minutes. Me: Five hours. Me: Five days. Me: Five years.
-unknown
When I have a boy I’ll name him ‘SPARTA’ so that every time I’m introducing him to someone, I can shout, "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"
-unknown
Stop putting "TeamSingle`` after every tweet . Single is not a team. You are ALONE !
-unknown
Elementary School: YA! CRAYONS! Middle School: ya, crayons, so what? High School: OMG!!!!!! CRAYONS!!!!!
-unknown
singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth then it just becomes a soap opera
-unknown
*puts selfie on top of Christmas tree because I am the star*
-unknown