If life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.
-unknown
funny facebook status
One spelling mistake can destroy your life.A Husband sent this to his wife:I`m having a wonderful time wish you were her."
-unknown
If a girl from iceland and a guy from cuba have a kid. Will he be an icecube?
-unknown
I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but... I`m Batman!
-unknown
is normally not a praying man, but if you`re up there, please save me Superman.
-unknown
Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"
-unknown
Check this one out.............1. :)
-unknown
who says nothing is impossible I`ve been doing nothing for years.
-unknown
I stepped on a cornflake now I`m a cereal killer
-unknown
I`ve got a time machine. I get in and it takes me seven hours into the future. I call it... bed.
-unknown