They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.
-unknown
funny facebook status
Boy: When u smile, I want ur lips. When u cry, I want ur tears. When u sleep, I want ur dreams. Girl: I`m on the toilet, u want my shit too?
-unknown
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
-unknown
They sell Universal remotes at Wal*Mart… can you believe that power like that is available to just anyone! Crazy.
-unknown
Never fight with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
-unknown
Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
-unknown
Without me it`s just AWESO
-unknown
I asked if she liked my handsome face or my sexy body. After looking me up and down, she said my sense of humor.
-unknown
Most stress is caused by three things; family, money and family with no money.
-unknown
I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: “CHECKOUT TIME IS 18″
-unknown