I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
-unknown
funny facebook status
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
-unknown
Mom:"You got a package!" "Thanks, Mom!"...... *pop pop pop pop pop pop pop* Mom:"What are you doing??" "Popping bubble wrap!"
-unknown
I don`t hate you....... I just don`t like that you exist.
-unknown
`i`m a ninja.` *prove it.* did you see that?` *see what?* `exactly.`
-unknown
3am phone call: "Hey, are you asleep?" You: "No, I`m skydiving."
-unknown
I didn’t trip, I was testing the gravity. It still works.
-unknown
When you were younger the best feeling in the world was trying to run up a slide and succeeding.
-unknown
I remember when I was 5 and the biggest diss was, "I know you are but what am I?"
-unknown
*At the gym, boy starts doing sit ups* Boy: 1...2...3... *Hot girl walks by* Boy: 153...154...155... ;)
-unknown