If I ever have to get into a fight with a bear, I`m sneaking in at least one hug.
-Dorian
funny facebook status
The slow motion scene where the person walks away from an explosion but it`s me walking away from self checkout without needing assistance.
-Dorian
Loofah sponge instructions: 1. Wet before use 2. Use once 3. Hang to dry as shower decoration for the rest of your life
-Dorian
If you love Batman, let him go, because Batman Returns.
-unknown
parents: you do realize one day you will have to pay for all your own things
me: yes but today is not that day :p
me: yes but today is not that day :p
-unknown
Who invented hugs? I mean the first hug would have been sooo awkward. "What are you doing, why are you holding me?!.." "Shhh just trust me"
-unknown
cute things to call your girlfriend:
1. sugar
2. honey
3. flour
4. egg
5. 1/2 lb butter
6. stir
7. pour into pan
8. preheat to 375°
1. sugar
2. honey
3. flour
4. egg
5. 1/2 lb butter
6. stir
7. pour into pan
8. preheat to 375°
-unknown
"Truth or dare”
“Truth”
“What’s your credit card number”
“Truth”
“What’s your credit card number”
-unknown
I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing here?"
I`m like "Oh you know, hunting elephants.".
I`m like "Oh you know, hunting elephants.".
-unknown
President Obama can say anything and still make you feel safe.
Obama: "Look.. we gonna die... but we gonna die... TOGETHER!."
Obama: "Look.. we gonna die... but we gonna die... TOGETHER!."
-Mimi