Saying "I`m almost there" when you actually haven`t even left the house.
-unknown
funny facebook status
Marriage is about give and take. You better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
-unknown
Sign at the Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’re in the right place.”
-unknown
"Dude, she just called you a nerd!" "Oh hell no.. Hold my protractor, calculater, ruler, -ohh good gosh!! Where`s my back up calculator!?!"
-unknown
You’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who cares.
-unknown
last night i brought my snowman in for a heat....by the time i got up in the morning she had pissed on the floor and ran off !! :(
-unknown
Guy : "I wear the pants in this relationship"
Girl: "yeah, but i control the zipper!
Girl: "yeah, but i control the zipper!
-unknown
I remember when my bestfriend was the shy and quiet one... I created a monster. :D
-unknown
"HEY, WHO STOLE MY...nevermind i found it."
-unknown
It’s going to be weird still checking Facebook when I’m 70.
-unknown