You think you have relationship issues? Try separating me from my bed in the morning.
-unknown
funny facebook status
If you can`t handle me at my Amanda Bynes, you don`t deserve me at my Beyonce.
-unknown
World: Hey check out this sport we made called football.
America: *sips beer* Check out this other sport I just made called football.
America: *sips beer* Check out this other sport I just made called football.
-unknown
Adding "if you know what I mean" at the end of an ordinary sentence to make it sound sexual.
-unknown
Facebook spent $19 billion on Whatsapp. NASA’s budget for 2014 is $16 billion. And they are trying to text aliens.
-unknown
Sometimes I drop things and am too lazy to pick them up, like pencils, or my hopes and dreams
-unknown
Sorry for calling you a bitch. I really thought you knew.
-unknown
What if prisons let prisoners take their own mug shots?
Cellfies
Cellfies
-unknown
*White girl at party*
omg let me Dj!!!
"ok sure"
*girl goes up on stage*
*throws Dj set away*
*takes out a cup*
*performs the cup song*
omg let me Dj!!!
"ok sure"
*girl goes up on stage*
*throws Dj set away*
*takes out a cup*
*performs the cup song*
-unknown
me: is it weird to talk to yourself?
me: no
me: no
-unknown