Whenever you feel your phone vibrate but it really didn`t you think there`s something wrong with you.
-unknown
funny facebook status
Am I the only one who feels like a complete idiot when other people sing "Happy Birthday" to me?!
-unknown
I`m a comedian and poet, so anything that doesn`t get a laugh. is a poem.
-unknown
I follow the quote, "Always be true to yourself" because I only lie to others!
-unknown
Life is like a role of toilet paper; long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.
-unknown
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
-unknown
Dear Phone, i`m sorry for dropping you, yelling at you, forgetting to charge you, and throwing you. Love, Carless User.
-unknown
I`m not addicted to alcohol. I`m just in an abusive relationship with it
-unknown
My Girlfriend wanted to see the world, so I bought her an atlas.
-unknown
As a kid i was a OUTSTANDING student. Most of the time I used to stand outside the class :-)
-unknown