Flying isn`t dangerous. Crashing is what`s dangerous.
-unknown
funny facebook status
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
-unknown
I`m not single. I`m in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom. :)
-unknown
I`m in love with my bed, but my alarm clock wont let us be together.
-unknown
I`m not clumsy. It`s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, & the wall just gets in the way.
-unknown
The awkward moment when you realise yelling at a film/tv show won`t help.
-unknown
Two atoms out for a walk, atom one said "I think I`ve lost an electron." Atom 2 "are you sure?" Atom one "yes, I`m positive."
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Life was much simpler when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.
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I spent my whole childhood wishing I was older. Now I’m older, it sucks.
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Teacher- When I was of your age I was not that naughty. . . Student - So mam, at what age you became naughty
-unknown