Cell phones should have the option to change "airplane mode" to "drunk mode" that way my drunk texts never leave my phone...
-unknown
funny facebook status
You know you`re stoned when you look at your dog and ask "did you say something?"
-unknown
"I wasnt that Drunk".
Dude, you were walking around naked trying to put your phone in your pocket.
Dude, you were walking around naked trying to put your phone in your pocket.
-unknown
"I wasnt that Drunk". Dude, you told me to give you a ride home... the party was at your house.
-unknown
That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong even autocorrect can`t figure out what you meant.
-unknown
That awkward moment when you don`t understand a joke but laugh anyway, and then someone asks you to explain the joke.
-unknown
That moment of shame when you toss a paper ball into the trash, and you miss, then you have to get up and go get it.
-unknown
Dear mom, just because you and your friend are best friends, doesn`t mean me and their kid will be best friends as well.
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Yes. Yes. I know. Yupp. I will. Okay. Yes. Alright. Okay. Bye Mom.
-unknown
" I like your hair." "thanks, I grew it myself."
-unknown