Trying to read what the doctor wrote on your prescription... "Is this English?"
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funny facebook status
My little sister`s password for the Disney website is "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto" i asked her why, she said "They told me to use 4 characters"
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I hate it when.. You sit down in shorts and BAM! your thighs are instantly 3759836 times larger.
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Dear Mom, My room was clean, but then i had to decide what to wear... Sincerely, Your loving child.
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That terrifiying moment when you have to pee really bad and you can`t unbutton your pants.
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Genie: i will grant you 3 wishes what is your 1st? Guy: More wishes! Genie: A Genie can only grant 3 wishes. Guy: More Genies! Genie: F*ck.
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Dear Love, People say that they can`t live without you. I personally think I`m more important. Sincerely, Oxygen
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"OMG !! There`s a bee" "stand still, it won`t hurt you" "FU*K THAT! I am running!!"
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mom can i..." "no." "mom please?" "no." "but, mom..." "no." ......"hey, dad!
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That awkward moment when you see someone that looks like someone you know, and you scream their name, and it’s not them!
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