"Hey, can I borrow a pen?" *Hmmm, which pen do I not need back?*
-unknown
funny facebook status
"Textaphrenia - thinking you`ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message." I have this.
-unknown
"You ask." "No, you ask!" "Will you please ask?" "Why can`t you ask?" "Fine... Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!"
-unknown
*Someone follows you on Twitter* YAY, a new follower! , *Someone follows you in real life* HOLY SH*T A STALKER
-unknown
All dressed in my jammies and ready for bed, gonna give my sheets some ass and my pillows some head!! nighty night!!
-Melanie
Dear boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I`d take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, Girlfriend.
-unknown
I did in bed... I did it on the couch... I did it in the car... Texting is such an obsession. :)
-unknown
"I didn`t do it..." "Then why are you laughing?" "Cause whoever did it, is a freaking genius!"
-unknown
Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn`t spell out "the rapist" Sincerely, not lying down.
-unknown
Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife.
-unknown