funny facebook status

That awkward monent when someone is watching you take a picture of yourself

At my house, multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

That awkward moment when your child tells you that you and Santa use the same gift wrap.

SON OF A B....iisscuutt...Hey mom.

Like my status or Chuck Norris will find you and bang your head into the keyboard.
(Kid) I hate this status and Chuck Norris is a jhfjhdhgjhgjjkfdhgfhghudihjgfjjdshkjfsjkds

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.

Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.

Me- I got an A+! Mom- WTF, well done! Me- Do you know what WTF means? Mom- "Well That`s Fantastic!"

Teacher: "Imagine you’re in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?" Boy:" Easy, stop imagining."