Cop: "When`s your birthday?" Drunk Teen: "September 25." Cop: "What year?" Drunk Teen: "Every year!"
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funny facebook status
It is really rude to talk while I`m interrupting.
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Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.
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If the people in horror movies listened to me they would still be alive.
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That awkward walk/run you do when a car lets you cross the street.
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Stop calling yourself hot. The only thing you turn on is the microwave.
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If Pocahontas & the smurfs had babies... the result would be Avatar.
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My boyfriend asked me to send him dirty pics.. so I sent him pictures of dishes.
-Parminder
The awkward moment when your identical twin calls you ugly.
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That awkward moment when your tattoo artist says "oops"
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