A Toyota Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet... but I can only walk so fast.
-unknown
funny facebook status
WHERE YOUR PEN DISAPPEARS WHEN U DROP IT: 3% Right where u dropped it, 5% 10 feet away from u, 92% Into another dimension never to be seen.
-unknown
Spongebob: "How long have I been ugly?!" Patrick: "As long as I can remember."
-unknown
I hate when people see me at the supermarket & they are like: "Hey what are you doing here?"..I`m like, "Oh you know, hunting elephants."
-unknown
*washing hands* - *sleeve starts falling down* NOOOO!
-unknown
A recent study shows that 90% of women don`t like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don`t like women...
-unknown
"Quick, everyone act natural!" *Everyone strikes the most un-natural pose ever.*
-unknown
That awkward moment when you drop something and you go to pick it up and you drop it again and again.
-unknown
Sleepover fact: The later it becomes, the more truth comes out. ;)
-unknown
"I wasn`t that drunk!" "Dude, you asked your mom if she had kids.."
-unknown