I went out with a girl who`s a dentist last night. She said she had a great time and would like to see me again in about six months.
-unknown
funny facebook status
I`ve been told I have a face for photoshop.
-unknown
Facebook account is my serious account. The funny one is my bank account!
-unknown
I think it`s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they`re scared. I`m like... you idiot, that`s the first place monsters go!
-unknown
Boss: We need you to do a drug test... Me: Great! Which drugs am I testing?
-unknown
Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teen girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
-unknown
Never give up on your dreams! Keep sleeping.
-unknown
I almost when to jail today... #Monopoly gets so intense. :O
-unknown
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
-Dorian
What`s the difference between you and a calendar? ..A calendar has dates.
-unknown