Girls: "Oh my god! i hate her.." "OMG ME TOO!" = instant best friends.
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funny facebook status
That awkward moment when you see twins fighting and one of them calls the other ugly.
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Alcohol is the liquid version of Photoshop.
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Dear Voldemort, you know magic. Why don`t you give yourself a nose?
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Cool story bro! If I get some popcorn will you tell it again?
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Dear McDonalds cashier, Don`t give me that look, there`s no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, Don`t forget the toy.
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True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
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"Shut up! You made me forget what I was trying to say!!"
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Mom: Have fun! Be safe! Kid: No. Mom: What? Kid: I can`t do both.
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Dear shirt, I fell in love with... I hate you. Sincerely, just saw the price tag.
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