That awkward moment when Adele shows up out of the blue uninvited.
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funny facebook status
That "Aww damn" moment when your mom is almost home and you look around and haven`t done anything she told you to do.
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Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position. ;P
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I`m not fat. I`m just so sexy that it overflows. ;)
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Jesus can walk on water, humans are 75% water & I can walk on humans. Therefore, I`m 75% Jesus. ;D
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If I`m ever on a date & it`s bad...
I`m just gonna stand up and say,
"I`m an actor, they`re all actors, and you`re on MTV`s disaster date!"
& run out.
I`m just gonna stand up and say,
"I`m an actor, they`re all actors, and you`re on MTV`s disaster date!"
& run out.
-Lauren
When someone tells you to, "expect the unexpected", slap them in the face and ask them if they expected it.
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Son: Dad, this boy in school keeps calling me gay.. Dad: Are you stupid? Why don`t you just beat him up? Son: I can`t, he`s too cute..
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There`s a serial killer in our house! Normal people: "CALL THE POLICE, LETS GET OUT OF HERE!" - In movies: "Lets go find him"
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Throwing lamps at people that need to lighten up...
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