What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married? Feyonce.
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funny facebook status
If robbers ever broke into my house searching for money, I would just laugh and search with them.
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Harry Potter fans: I wanna go to Hogwarts!
Narnia fans: I wanna go to Narnia!
Hunger Games fans: Nope I`m good...
Narnia fans: I wanna go to Narnia!
Hunger Games fans: Nope I`m good...
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At the gym: Him: I really want to impress that hot chick over there, which machine should I use?!
Me: The ATM.
Me: The ATM.
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when you ask your mom a single question & she yells her response
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That moment when Slapping your best friend when you are excited about something.
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We all know someone who desperately needs a haircut.
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Bringing your pet over to a mirror and being like "That`s you."
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I liked you until you farted and turned the MUSIC up like it was gonna cover the smell.
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Sometimes I feel like I get less attention than a white crayon.
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