"I need to study!" *Opens book* "I don`t feel like studying." *Closes book*
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funny facebook status
*Police officer walks up to me* POLICE: "Where were you between 4 and 6?" ME: "Kindergarten."
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That guys breath is so bad, when he walks past a clock it says... TIC- TAC ..
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BAD GUYS IN MOVIES: "But before I kill you, I want to tell you this really long story so you can be saved." (-_-)
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"I wasnt that Drunk". Dude, you told me to give you a ride home... the party was at your house.
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That "oh f*ck!" moment when you lean back a little to far in your chair and then gravity takes over.
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If you forget to say "Pika" before you sneeze, you can always just say "bacca"afterwords..
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Dear everyone, always remember that when you fall, I`ll pick you up. But just AFTER I finish laughing.
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I`ve decided that I`m not going to focus on my past anymore...so if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
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I hate when people see me at the store & are like "hey what are you doing here?" Im like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."
-unknown