Don`t be racist. Be like a Panda. They`re black, white and asian. But they`re not mexican, so be like a panda holding a taco.
-Hailey
funny facebook status
That face you make when you smell Germ-X up really close.
-Wendy
"Dude she just called you boring!" "oh h............"
-Hannah
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
-Domenico
That awkward moment when you underestimate your fart and after smelling it you try to move away from people.
-Elegant
Boy: Hey... look at your keyboard see where it says U and I :) Girl: Aww! That`s soo sweet! what about it? Boy: Now look under it.
-unknown
Not even: • 2012 • Paranormal Activity • Shooting • Bomb attacks • Or failing a class Is more terrifying than seeing 5 missed calls from mom
-unknown
Cop: "Sir, what`s in the bottle next to you? Me: "It`s water" Cop: "Sir, this is wine" Me: "What? Jesus! He did it again!"
-unknown
That "I fail at life" moment when you`re trying to pull up the covers and you punch yourself in the face
-unknown
Screw an alarm system. I`ve seen "Home Alone", I know what to do.
-unknown