Mom: "Let me see your Twitter" Me: *Throws computer out the window* "What Twitter?"
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funny facebook status
Dear automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm... but I wasn`t done yet.
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My parents said I should watch less movies and read more. so I turned on the subtitles.
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Sadly, no matter how many times you say "okay" your parents will not stop talking.
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cat : meow me : meow? cat : meow meow me : Holy shit. I can speak cat
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To do list: 1. Buy a parrot. 2. Teach the parrot to say, "Help!! I turned into a parrot!" 3. Leave it in a public area. :)
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PARENT: "We need to talk. " ME: *Million things run through my mind. What did they find out about!?* PARENT: "Stop leaving the lights on..."
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That 3 second lap dance you get at the movies when somebody walks by.. ;)
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That moment when your like `I wonder why they haven`t texted me back yet` and then you realize you didn`t press send to send the text.
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That mini heart attack you get when someone says - "Oh, I heard something about you!"
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