Hearing a camera shutter noise in a restroom can never be normal..
-unknown
funny facebook status
When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger & write `WASH ME` on her face...
-unknown
Cover on: Too hot Cover off: Too cold One leg out: perfect Brain: you know what you haven`t thought of in a while? Monsters *Leg back in*
-unknown
"Dude, you were so drunk you kept falling over..." "No I wasn`t, I was breakdancing!"
-unknown
Italians always tell you they`re Italian within 12 seconds of meeting them.
-unknown
911: What`s your emergency? I said, "Two girls are fighting over me." "OK," she paused. "Well what`s the problem?" "The fat one`s winning."
-unknown
Friend: "Awwhh, someone needs a hug!" Me: "Don`t touch me."
-unknown
*Home alone* Thoughts = Partyy!!! Reality = Peeing with door open.
-unknown
I hate how spiders just sit there on the walls and act like they pay rent. -_-
-unknown
Me: mom its raining.. I can`t walk to school... Mom: Great so you could stay and help me clean the house! Me: I`ll run, BYE!
-unknown