I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5 or 6 times, just to be sure.
-unknown
funny facebook status
You know that your house is messed up when your mum thinks all Italians are part of the mafia...
-Yashith
Those days where being Line Leader made you feel the #coolest...And everyone behind you was your #bitch.
-Mario
When on the run and getting away you must say, "This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow"
-Sarvesh
Hi, I`m a mirror and I was just wondering why you take pictures of me?
-unknown
I accused my friend of being gay yesterday... He was so angry he hit me with his purse.
-unknown
"So how far have you gone with a guy?" "....Well there was this one time..we made eye contact. It was awesome."
-unknown
Admit it, at some point in your life, you stuck a ball up your shirt and pretended you were pregnant.
-unknown
That moment when you`re watching a dancing show with your parents. Inside: Imagining yourself doing those moves. Outside: Poker face.
-unknown
Santa saw your Facebook & this year, he`s getting you clothes for christmas.
-unknown