If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared?
-Jake
funny facebook status
Ha! I just finished a puzzle in 8 months and the box said 2-3 years!
-Jake
"I wasn`t that drunk..." "Dude, you were in my bathroom begging my sponge for the krabby patty formula."
-unknown
If “plan A” didn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Stay Cool.
-unknown
Awwww you`re not fat. Now chin up!...... and the other one too. :)
-unknown
I need a new girlfriend, my imaginary one lied to me & said she was real.
-Mando
I`m fluffy and I know it! I Munch out! Jiggle, Jiggle, Jiggle, yea! Jiggle, Jiggle, Jiggle yea!!!
-Mando
No matter how old you are... if a little kid shoots you with a toy gun, you act dead.
-unknown
A cop pulled me over and said ``Papers...`` So I said, ``Scissors, I win!`` and drove off like a boss!
-unknown
Clapping the longest during an assembly because you`re a fearless bastard.
-unknown