I don`t have ex`s, I have y`s. Y the hell did I do that...?
-unknown
funny facebook status
Roses are red, You have a phone, But nobody texts you..... Forever alone.
-unknown
"Do you sell couches? Because you`re sofa king stupid."
-Jason
So the other day, my Arab neighbour was out on his balcony shaking out his rug. I turned to him and asked, "What`s wrong, Ahmed? Won`t it start?"
-unknown
you should have a license plate number to say I FORGOT so when some calls the police they say I FORGOT!
-unknown
You smile I smile, you get hurt I get hurt, you cry I cry, you jump off a bridge, I`m gonna miss you buddy...
-unknown
Put your headphones up against your nostrils + Open your mouth = Speakers.
-unknown
Friend: HEY YOU`RE BLOCKING THE VIEW! me: I am the view.
-unknown
"Falling asleep? Cool.....Hey I need to pee immediately" - My body every night.
-unknown
Think POSITIVE: I fell down the stairs then said, WELL I GOT DOWN THOSE STAIRS FAST.
-unknown