Hi spider, nice spider, let me pet you, with my shoe! Haha spider, dead spider.
-unknown
funny facebook status
*at pet store* Me: HEY look, its a NEMO! worker: Mam, that`s a clown fish.. Me: Bitch that`s a nemo -_-
-unknown
Student: "Should I get in trouble for something I didn`t do?" Teacher: "No." Student: "Good, cause I didn`t do my homework."
-unknown
"Those crocs look great on you" - Nobody
-unknown
If you were a dinosaur, you would be a bitch-a-whoreous.
-unknown
Girl: "I`m breaking up with you." Boy:" Can I get a last hug?" *Girl hugs boy* Girl: "Wait, are you covered in glue?" Boy: "Hehe..."
-unknown
Friend: "Hey, guess what I saw today!"
Me: "Everything you looked at."
Me: "Everything you looked at."
-unknown
Sequel to the movie `300` is coming this year. Starring Chuck Norris, and the title is `1`.
-unknown
That sad moment when you realize that the trash goes out more than you do.
-unknown
"eww omg you`re so ugly!" "good, i was trying to look like you today."
-unknown