Sometimes I just wanna ask my farts, "Why Now?" (._. )
-unknown
funny facebook status
"Let`s talk dirty ;)" ... "What?!" .. "I said it`s 12:30!"
-unknown
I`ve always wondered how police on bikes arrest criminals... It`s like, "Alright, get in the basket!"
-unknown
Saying "Beer can" with a British accent sounds like "Bacon" with a Jamaican accent.
-unknown
Don`t wear skinny jeans, if you don`t have skinny genes
-unknown
What do you call a black person on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard.
-unknown
*spank* . DIDN`T . *spank* . I. *spank* . TELL *spank* YOU *spank* TO *spank* . CLEAN . *spank* . UP ? MOVE YA HAND !
-unknown
That baby dinosaur noise you make when you stretch.
-unknown
CONGRATULATIONS! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
-unknown
"IS SHE PREGNANT?" "I don`t know. Go ask her." "NO! WHAT IF SHE`S JUST FAT?"
-unknown