My cousin left his Chuck Norris action figure in his sisters room. Now all her Barbies are pregnant.
-unknown
funny facebook status
Damn, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday! That`s 10 years in a row now...
-unknown
If you forget to say "Pika" before you sneeze, you can always just say "bacca"afterwords..
-unknown
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead to the belief that you can sing.
-unknown
Kid: "I got 87% on the test and you?" Me: "125%." Kid: "How!? There was no extra credit!" Me: "I just put Chuck Norris for every answer."
-unknown
On Christmas Eve, I asked for the most awesomest person on earth. The next day I woke up in a box.
-Chris
Chuck Norris fact
When Chuck Norris does push ups. He doesn`t push him self up. He push the earth down.
When Chuck Norris does push ups. He doesn`t push him self up. He push the earth down.
-Jibran
Girl- can I have a dog?
Vet- `would you like a female dog, or a male dog?`
Girl- Bitch please..
Vet- `would you like a female dog, or a male dog?`
Girl- Bitch please..
-Roseanne
Maybe Karma wouldn`t be so nasty if we stopped calling her a bitch.
-Roseanne
Rule 1 during arguments. If you`re losing, start correcting their grammar.
-unknown